Wednesday, January 24, 2007

I have cutlery all over sydney! P.S "CLAIRE COLLINS SHUT UP ITS ALL ABOUT ME!"

I've left it so long between posts, only my hardcore fans will read this.
So much stuff has happened, will have to do it in point form to fit it all in.

*Christmas was a blast, I won my familia's annual trivial pursuit game - excelling in the entertainment questions. Example: In 1997 who featured most within the media?
a)Kate Moss
b)Bill Clinton
c)Tom Cruise
d)Nicole Kidman
Answer at the end of the post........

*New Years Eve was yet another amazing time, getting really drunk with my grandmother. Then watching the fire works with Max at his friends house, my 15 year old twin cousins got home later than I did. LOSER MUCH?

Nothing much happened between 25th December -11th January.


My invitation demanded that guests wear white, obvi no-one listened to me... AGAIN.
The white was so that i would stand out in my pink gown, not appropriate for any kind of picnic.

Games started! Tom blind folded me for the pinata wacking..... Ladies, he is single and looking for someone special (only if your pretty and no half-casts!) me

Perfect chance for a beat down, BOY YOU AIN'T ALL THAT!

Pinata is not the best game when your 5'6 and your dress restricts any movement above the elbows.

Wind effects, these are one of the many many shot's that prove I was invented by gay's.

Romance was Born! Luke really impressed the pants off my mum by getting drunk and charming her with compliments about me. Pitty she didnt believe him.

Doctor Harry came along, he now give pet advice via sexy text messages.

My jew's were ever present, thanks for the hewbrew blessing Sophie. SHALOM BITCHES!

I would bend over backwards for my friends, thats literally how nice i am. Sam wanted his first vaginal experience, I obliged graciously. Amazing Hostess!

Alex is catching gay, quickly. No seriously, my family were very happy i'd bridged the gap with the ethnic's by inviting some to my party.

Dave was sharing the festivities, his birthday only days before. I did make it very clear that I would be the center of attention for the day, he had to stay in the background. He was fine with that, and i let him feel me up bit so we are totally even now.

Then we played pin the horn on the unicorn, the prize was that I would french kiss the winner.
Levin's won, we kissed, (open mouth but with no tounge) I must have been pretty good because soon after he proposed.

Sexy Little Thug!

Then everyone started getting sexy, who said you can't catch gay!

Dear Dolly Doctor,
I'm totes worried about my B.F, he is really hot and everything BUT he keeps on wearing my clothes. I think he might be one of those fags. He hangs out with boys all the time and Bloc Party is his favorite band and says he really relates to the lyrics of the new album, you know the one about gay stuff. What do I do?
Love Always,
Confused and homophobic.

Prancing around the park in flowing dresses was entertaining for over 2 hours.

Most amazing biz ever, did someone say Sutho? FUK YEH.....NULLA PRIDE.

Tyson had the most fun ever at my party.
2 Sticks of soft butter
Vanilla essence
shit loads of icing mixture.

I love you so much my fiance, our romance is true, natural, honest and so real. You are my better half, and we will face the world together with love in our hearts.

I am Luke's official new accesories model, we have been working on poses for this excellent new hat he made me for my birthday. Michaella is working it out here with a sexy NOT sulry, cute NOT coy and so SASSY it burns!

Group Shot..... totally A-GAY-ZING.

Wait.... tantrum time.
SHIT, Duncan the champagne was just for effect you didnt have to pop it fo' realz!
I sulked for about 8mins then got sulty till 4am.

Thanks to everyone for coming, BBF'S.
To everyone who didn't come, YOUR DEAD TO ME.

Watching: Ugly Betty- completely the most amazing show, The Hills (season 2)- Heidi, what you doing girl? Spencer is playing you! And cannot hardly wait for J-Lo's new MTV dance reality TV show, the girl has come so far from the Bronx it aint even funny or fair!

Listening to: Good Charlotte- Keep your hands off my girl and heaps of disgusting italian disco.

Reading: What?


Forever yours,



*The answer is Bill Clinton, he was jizzing everywhere in 97!