Sunday, December 17, 2006
Jenna, if you dont like my blog.....simple DONT READ IT. Geezzz what a biz-snitch!
And to the person who left a comment saying i needed to be "glassed", thats just plain stalking.
Listen up bitches, if you dont like me or my blog dont read the bloody thing.
Go and listen to some Belle and Sebastian and lighten up!
This is not what the chronnies are about!
Destiny's Child had such great christmas spirit: "On the 2nd day of christmas my baby gave to me the keys to a CKL Mercedes."
As promised to friends of mine that don't frequent as many celebrity slagging blogs as i do. Lindsay Lohan 2 letters of pure genius:
LETTER ONE :
"I would like to send my condolences out to Catherine Altman, Robert Altmans wife, as well as all of his immediate family, close friends, co-workers, and all of his inner circle.
"I feel as if I've just had the wind knocked out of me and my heart aches.
"If not only my heart but the heart of Mr. Altman's wife and family and many fellow actors/artists that admire him for his work and love him for making people laugh whenever and however he could..
"Robert altman made dreams possible for many independent aspiring filmmakers, as well as creating roles for countless actors.
"I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman amongst the other greats on a film that I can genuinely say created a turning point in my career.
"I learned so much from Altman and he was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I've had in several years.
"The point is, he made a difference.
"He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.
"So every day when you wake up.
"Look in the mirror and thank god for every second you have and cherish all moments.
"The fighting, the anger, the drama is tedious.
"Please just take each moment day by day and consider yourself lucky to breathe and feel at all and smile. Be thankful.
"Life comes once, doesn't 'keep coming back' and we all take such advantage of what we have.
"When we shouldn't..... '
"Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves' (12st book) -everytime there's a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on.-altman Its true. But treasure each triumph as they come.
"If I can do anything for those who are in a very hard time right now, as I'm one of them with hearing this news, please take advantage of the fact that I'm just a phone call away.
God Bless, peace and love always.
Isn't it genius how she signs off "BE ADEQUITE", she is so caring.
LETTER TWO: This is where she gets deep...
"Subject: The way of the future-Howard Hughes once said. I am willing to release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite letter to the press if any of you are willing to help. Simply to state my oppinions on how our society should be educated on for the better of our country. Our people. Also because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see. People are just mean. I am going to proceed with putting LR to court if need be for what she's done to me. Its my life. I want to live it. People cannot lie and think that it is okay to continue on having done so. Simply because they will do it again to someone else, and that is not alright with me. I have had many ups and downs, as do we all.
But to make false accusations to one girl is unjust in my oppinion. Having said this, I am willing to do anything I need to get my life the way it should be and the way I work for it to be.. And have thus far in my career. Let's sue the tabloids for saying the things they say. Defamation of character. Amongst other illegal accusations, I will repeat this over and over to make my point. I am not fully aware of what these, again, accusations are, but I am fully and eagerly prepared to learn them. Have harvey and all lawyers help me please. If he is willing. Al Gore will help me he came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me. If he is willing to help me, let's find out. Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan metroplis, and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK. I'd really like to fix things and refuse to stop on any account for these unintelligent, vulgar people who like to hurt other people. Not just me, but everyone. I'm willing to hold a press conference and I will do anything necessary to do so. In putting an end to 'these people' trying to put an end to me and belittle me as well as try to be the demise of me after all I've gone through and done at such a young and tender age in a womans life. Its enough already, I've had enough and I am going to be the one to make a change. For all of my fellow actors, friends, people I admire and for those I've lost in the recent days, years, months. I do believe the focus in the world has misplaced and directed in the wrong directions and I am willing to be the one to help change that and use my celebrity status to move the focalpoint /(s) of the press to the real issues that we have going on as we speak. Anyone that is willing to help and has a family member or friend, even co-worker that is in a position to be involved in any way, shape or form, please contact me, Jenni Muro, Leslie Sloane, Michael Heller, Jason Sloane, Jason Weinberg as soon as you can or are willing. Just ask them, it doesn't hurt to ask. So let's start now, rather than waste time. Do you agree? Because I'm doing it either way. The way of the future. Thank you for your time. Your Entertainer, Lindsay Lohan"
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Nicole Richie arrested, apparently she eliviates her menstrual cramps with Vicodin.. SNAP BITCH! Pitty you dont get your crimson wave at 39 kg Nicole.
Within 5 mins of arriving with Nick we were called "snobs" by a guy drapped in an australian flag and fake moustache. Maybe this was because of Nick's exotic looks and ethnic dress or my completely inappropriate festival outfit. Whatever it was, the place was packed with what seemed to be people who could just not get over the cronulla riots.... Big Day Out is usually filled with at least a small amount of mingling races. Lame-gay (laneway) festival is just totally the most mixed race of all....
So I managed to dodge the rain till about 1pm... in the VI area waiting for my bitch Rose to finish her wristband-wendy duties. Then it all got a bit much and Nick and I needed to feel a sense of order, so we went to find some wellingtons at David Jones and sit down for some coffee and cake.
I blow dried my hair under the hand dryer, and felt normal again.
Nina and Kim, they had poncho's but still got drenched. How amazing is the light behind the diamond.... That was the only bit of sun all day!
Jocelin ate some hot dogs, from the hot dogs of the world stand. It was so popular all day, Nicks english boss liked it too and spent 5 mins explaining his hot dog to me. I smiled politely.
Just after Todd and i copped some massive rain, i quickly tried to correct the harmful damage it caused to my fringe helmet.
Will was quite obsessed with this outfit, at this point my shoes were filled with swamp. I didnt care if there were 200 hot boys pilled up around me in a tent escaping the rain. I had just completely ruined my marc jacob flats and no one wanted to go and watch the Vines with me.
This was the days low.
Hicks came out of hiding for all of 4.5 mins.... Walker didnt leave the VI all day, but she was wearing thongs, smart move.
Dools complained alot all day, blah blah working blah blah Stacia i'm tired blah blah. Till he found the hoods, doesnt a mood change quickly when some aussie hip hop is introduced.
Grey hoods, all round.
Going slightly stir crazy...
I made sure that during silverchair we were way up the back so i could turn around in the boring parts (most of their new songs) and watch Bjorn again.
Thank you to Stacia the Un-Official Jay-z fanclub's minister of Photography.
On fanclub news, Gotye is our new celebrity spokes person.
He is also getting together a merrick's beach chapter of the club.
If you want to know more about that ask Nina!
Health Club is having a love song dedication night tonight.. It will be super romantic.
I waited an hour and a half in the cold for you... Lucky the next day californian nails had a new shade of nude!
Can someone please explain this concept to Luke and I?
I'm refeering to the planned new years eve fireworks, in which an image of a coat
hanger is going to be blazing all over the harbour bridge.
WHY? Is it a reminder to all the big fat david jones mums out there that the sales are almost over? I dont get it? The whole thing is just too funny for words, Luke and I are now going to have to make Coat hanger hat things for new years, they will be jazzed up for the special night real pretty though. Who's got spirit? WE DO!
Speaking of new years eve, looks like once again i will be doing a whole lot of nothing with my angry gay bearded best friend. Luke has been reminding me i'm really funny and the life of a party, but its kind of getting old. We are both getting each other "He is just not that into you" for christmas.
What is it with Li Lo writting all these letters? First was about her mourning of Robert Altman, she said in that letter
"If I can do anything for those who are in a very hard time right now, as I'm one of them with hearing this news, please take advantage of the fact that I'm just a phone call away....."
Well Linds, I'm kind of having a hard time right now and where the hell are you?
Last night i stood around for an hour and a half talking to people who knew i didnt want to talk to them because of a boy i like and dont like after a seeing a band, which i totally didnt go to for their musical ability. WHERE ARE YOU LINDS? AND WHATS YOUR PHONE NUMBER Luke would also like some help with a complaint letter he is writting to sunday life magazine.
LiLo has also written another letter, but it didn' t even make sense and why is she hitting on Al Gore?
Anyway, so ages ago i went to see this band Animal Collective @Newtown which totally should only be allowed to have elderly cabaret shows with Rhonda Birchmore, what is with the carpet and lounge chairs?
FYI I now have a fringe and look much better... But what a choice so many levels of fun!
I chose the socially responsible gaming area, you could win all these great prizes.... depressing much?
Not satisfied with having a minimal @Newtown experience.... I wanted live, breath and digest it.This was the mixed entrees Hick's and i shared, notice there is a missing calamari ring? We did and they deep fried just ONE and brought it out. Deep Fried should be named Deep Friend for fatties.
This was on the tropical singles themed deck, they were like real palm tress only metal and painted gold and in the smoking area on a night where most people need to smoke to keep up an illusion of cool and thin.
Can someone please get me off the damn machines?
After getting all hyped up on gambling, Hick's had to sit me down with a chai so i would snap out of it.
I wasn't counting on a summer romance because he is not romantic but if you kiss someone once, and then again, and again it kind of means more than a lump of coal.
Every time i tell my best friend Viv about boys i've met i'll always say "And the best thing is Viv, he is totally normal. Like completely normal, its great. He doesn't even notice that he will wear a clothing combination made up of 6 different themes."
Well that is the last time i waste my cute little outfits and kisses on normal!
Listening to :
*All the man hating classic's all the girls and anything written by that dykey lezzer Diane Warren.... I LOVE HER!
Oh yeah Luke and Cuz and I have totally named this summer, the summer of Stevie Wonder.
I love you swampy!
P.s Dont go and see The Black Dahila, along with everything that happened this week IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Although I was not present at the party (I wasnt invited, but lets not tackle that issue right now.) but it seems as though 3/4 of my loyal readers were:
Dool's looking every bit the boyfriend of Pete Wentz. Thats right, Pete Wentz is not going out with Ashlee Simpson, because Dool's recomended her a plastic surgeon, a sneaky ploy to make them break up.... HEY IT WORKED, silly bitch!
Nina was my favorite half of The Ronnies, Jess. Too Pretty.
In other Nina&Nella news, no one has emailed us about our new all girl with microphone DJ Troupe that we started...weddings, christmas parties, batmizvah's, kids birthday parties... we are your ladies. firstname.lastname@example.org
Nina and Sophie made the best Ronnies ever and 4EVER....
Wow guys party looked really fun, thanks for the invitation..... its ok i was busy anyway. Doing way more interesting stuff like colour co-orindating my socks and a whole book of sudoku puzzles that night anyway.
So apart from my Un-Official Jay Z Fanclub of which i'm the president.... I've also got a bike club, its going to a pretty good start except the only other member has a broken bike.
And when i myspaced him a picture of our new club logo:
This is what i got in return:
Really nice Dave, your a gracious first member aren't you.
READABOOK- Bonami "D'mite" Armah, (Possibly the most amazing rap anthem this year, but no one play it a pod war because Glen has first dibs.)
Your breaking my heart - Harry Nilsson ( With the line 'Your breaking my heart, you turned it apart, so fuck you")
My love- Justin Timberlake feat T.I (This song is so good, and Justin Timberlake is just so hot its ridic! Can he just stop it already!)
Bad Boys - Inner Circle ( If you havent listened to this song since year 5, please dig out your 100% hits of 93 or whatever and have the best time ever!)
Ummmmm Duh. Its in the title of this post. My new Karl Lagerfeld diet book.
It has a chapter called : Harmful Spare Tires.
In this relm, did you know Nina and i both wear Vines (the band) T-shirts to the gym.
Take it Breezy.... and with this weather it's your only choice.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
This week Carla from Sutherland gave everyone her favorite sour cream cake, what would i have? Ambrosia salad.
Keeping on the homely feeling:
There was a rain storm last saturday night, so Luke and i had a good old fashioned stoned loungeroom party... We couldnt turn up the music too loud because the woman next door has cancer.
Look how good Luke is at doing the Dean Geyer idol finger at the camera point, Luke thinks his best assets are his calves.
One shoe on, smoke in shot, a really exream outfit choice....is this not screaming good old fashioned stoner lounge room?
I'm the prissy hot girl who gets stoned and then noids out about her hair or cant fit everything back into her hand bag after searching for a pastel pink lip gloss for half an hour. Equal amounts of annoying and pretty.
Another sure sign of the stoner lounge room party, the disgusting coffee table with junk on it.EWWWWWEEYYERRRR'S.
Table dancing to Madonna's live confessions concert and knowing both the intro and outro...
Michael had just about had enough of me and Luke, i can understand. By this time Luke had changed 5 times and reverted back to the orginal outfit he had been wearing all day.We were ready to go...
Taking cover from paps is always the way to attract the right kind of attention at the old fitz. In a famous by association way.
We met up with Tangman for some $5 double gin and tonics, this wall is giving an illusion of the old fitz actually being semi decent. Its crappy, except Luke and i are going to do a spoken word Madonna (him) Jay-Z (me) tribute at the community theatre down stairs. Or Maybe a stage version of 8mile.
Locked in love! Dont hate the player... hate the game.
Luke has been falling in the same bushes as Lindsay Lohan, he is channeling her latest sympathy bandage accessory!
Listening to : Boomkat - 'Yo!Verture'...... Jay-Z- 'kingdom come'!!!
The official president of the Un-Official Jay-Z fanclub.
p.s Dool's has opted for being The Official Recruitment Officer of the Un-Official Jay-Z fanclub. So hit him up for membership, there is a very rigorous initiation so if you have any old misterminers, dont fret Jay-Z used to sell heaps of coke.
Monday, November 20, 2006
After a dinner that lasted an hour and being ditched for laundry, i went and met Luke
for some support and guidance.... for some reason maybe i think his guidance is the reason i'm being ditched for laundry though!
To cheer me up he surrounded me with monchichi's and talked about himself...
F.Y.I gloria jeans now have coloured sprinkles, how exciting is that!
Obviously we had decided that oreo chrush frappachinos would make us feel better.
Dont ever get one you will be totally addicted.
Lukes favorite were the green...someone asked for them while he was posing for this picture, eeeewww from his crutch to the top of their frapp... GROSS.
Look who else was hankering for an oreo crush. MK and A.... Its such as hassle to go out with these two now with all the paps.
Lucky i had a spare balenciaga to sheild the masses.
"Look mind your own beez wax, whats up with that..... Cant a girlfriend have a quite frap? And Paris can have stavros the whore!"
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Nina's house party was calling and my pre booked 12 mid night silver service turned up as all pre arranged! Many of you would be suprised but my life runs like clock work with the organization of a well oiled army.
Nina and Sophie are really great at the Ronnies sig. pose. We are planning on starting our own reality tv show called "so you think you can internet?".
Nina and Will, ummmm can someone tell Will that his slut spiral has to stop its getting really predictable and boring....
A shot capturing the electric energy building up for the debut of our all girl DJ troope!
Nina is the secretary of the Un-Official Jay Z fan club, look at her throwing up diamonds. That guy in the background is really a creep, he was creepin around all night. Michaella and i were taking a girl break in Nina's bedroom (talking shoes and boys.)and the creeper came in and was like "Mind if i do some coke. want a line?" Ewwwwwyer are you serious? yeh right creeper! AND HE WAS ENGLISH!
'show what you got lil' momma, show me what you got pretty lady!'
This photo really doesnt need much explaination, dont you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Michaella was there, she looked really thin! We were on a mission to just be the ultimate house party bitches.....here we go:
Burning holes in the dance floor, this picture is so pretty! We were dancing to S.O.S by Rihanna....although we are all Jay z children!
We both made out with the hottest boy at the party! Dean....
Then i was on the toilet and Mick was just standing there talking shoes and boys again, when this pissed girl walks in and says she needs to puke. Here i am helping her michaella thought it was hallarious because in between spews she was like " i know you, your nella." Yep.
Nina started off our all girl dj troop by turning on the microphone.... amazing.
We were either playing Kanye west work out plan at this point or All Saints never ever! On All Saints news.... they have a new album, i always knew those appletons were better than just fucking oasis.
The combination is better than pork and sweet and sour sauce. We are available for hire, batmitvahs, wedding's, christening's, 50ths... whatever we are your ladies.
This photo looks like someone is trying to punch me in the head, they probably were. But i'm sure its just they were doing some outstanding dance moves and got in the way of the camera.
This is about the time i left and went home to leave.....
Very exciting Michaella's boyfriend Duncan is going to do a second speaking roll on home and away as a yabby creek police officer! First famous person on telly i know, isnt that great. Michaella is now a total token hot girlfriend of a celebrity, she deserves it.
The Un Official Jay Z fanclub is going well, thanks for asking.
C-Haw is the un official Vice President, i am the President.
If you want to join we are considering memberships, but you will have to pass an indepth background check. So if those 4 year overdue blockbuster videos have blackend your name don't even think about it!
Tonight i'm taking my mum to a secret Kings of Leon show, they are her favorite band, isnt that sick and embarassing.
Take it breezy homies...