My friend Amelia told me the other day she was obsessed with gangs of hetic lesbianese drag racers.... I asked her if it was like 'Too fast too furious....... Lesbianese drift' or did she ever try and hook in with the 'BL-ASIANS' (blonde asians)? The converstion then ended when she explained her time with the dragsters ended in an almost rape. She used to spray her hair so tightly to her scalp she didnt wash it for weeks and her eye lashed fell out from never taking off her waterproof eye liner and mascara.
Anyway, it was my Grandmothers 90th bithday on Saturday, it was pretty sweet.
My Dad was excellent with the inappropriate public behaviour, very drunk and very funny.
He was handed a plate on mini meat balls by my mum to hand out, but he thought they were given to him as his dinner and sat in a corner and ate the whole plate.
The best Grandmother a girl could dream of, she drinks a bottle of champagne a day!
He is the best, my sister was the usual anti-social and looked miserable, bored and judgement. Glad she had fun....
'STOP IGNORING ME GIRLFRIEND!' Little Olive annoyed the shit out of everyone with the 'Girlfriend' crap all day, apparently she had seen the Bratz Movie. She tasted my wine by accident and spat it all over me.
Cass and i were meant to go to this 'Erotic Fan Fiction' reading....... but i am such a selfish bitch and had to go and get my nails done and make us too late, it sold out even though we totally burned down there in a really quick taxi.
Lucky Cass had her moleskin, we just decided to have our own little reading up at the Readers Digest building, it was so rude we made the concrete blush like thrush.
Oh and I took Levins to the Tini K sale, Luke and I had picked out some stage outfits for him from the great rack of Archival pieces that she had, they were all going dirt cheap, i wonder why?
There were like 2 other people there the whole time i we were there I made Luke yell out stuff like : 'GOD CAN ANYONE BREAK A GOD DAMN 50?' to create some sale atmosphere, even offering the other customers a chance to be 'walk down memory lane through Tini's archival rack' didnt appeal. We did the hard sell, it obviously just wasnt good enough for some picky bitches.
Oh and I have decided to go bobbing for apples!
So many America's Next Top Model make over ep tears were shed, and i dont look like a dyke at all. YAY.
Finally I have added a new like 'SEXY SAMSY' to Sam's hot gay blog, its really queer.
P.S RYAN LOBO STILL SUCKS........ (HOPE THIS COMES UP NEXT TIME YOU GOOGLE YOURSELF PAKI LOSER)