Michaella is the latest of my friends to be attacked by the 'intollerence.'
This crippling disease that is depleating sydney of soy milk and ginger.
They seem to be the only things that the Intollerants can eat.
We met up for ladies coffee, i use that term loosely.... This was her text message -
"Nells are you free tomorrow for coffee? Midday newtown."
So i assumed we would both be drinking coffee.... WRONG.
She did however impress me with her latest CD:
Yep thats right Michaella and i might be the only people who have bought Beyonce's latest offering. Its seriously bombed out, every single is crap.
She should have stuck it out with Michelle and Kelly. Bitch got too big for her boots.
There was a 10min debate on whether those crocodiles were real. I said they were real, and they would be alligators because they have them over there. We only have crocodiles here in the land of brown. The picture also raised the topic of 'Tan Lines' which with all expected beach fun coming up will be a worry. Anyway all these cut out one piece swimsuits are going to leave you looking like a bound red raw ham after a day in the sun.
Here i am looking like the ultimate Scandinavian block... That dress was good in theory then catching my reflection in windows i was really embarassed it looked like i was celebrating a mama cass memorial day. It was a fucking moo moo! A really hot one, but still a moo moo.
Then our drinks came, Grace had a green juice... YUCK. She wasnt impressed either.
Here is Michaella with her soyt chai latte tea pot shit. I had a skim milk coffee. (because my ass does not need any more encouragment.)
It was cute at first awwww she got her own tea pot.....
Then it wouldnt pour out because there was all this ginger blocking the pouring hole part.... and because of all the spicey chai shit in it the stainer got blocked....
AND THEN SHE NEEDED SOME HONEY BECAUSE IT TASTED LIKE SHIT.
Grace and i unimpressed with soy chai lattes, Michaella was starting to feel like a dumb ass by this point. She almost saw the light and abandoned the Intollerants. I like to see her try and find gulten and wheat free pasta on her honeymoon in Tuscuny. Or some Carob in Switzerland..... What is happening to people in sydney?
Girls say that after they eat bread containing gulten and wheat they get bloated.... ummm yeah because you ate too much and your full and a little bit piggy.
It was getting to the point of this. The chai was starting to stink and she had almost used a whole box of napkins. Am i the only person finding this a little bit ridiculous?
Anyway it ended like this.... I had finshed my cup of coffee 25mins ago and she was on her last cup of chai. The mess and waste was horrible and she got chai bits of leaf and crap stuck in all her sequins. It was horrible.
Email me with any other strange coffee choices: